Lee's Journey to Find an Identity
by TenshiUmi Hana
Summary: Lee has discovered his true sexuality...or has he. Find out in the new chapter Ah! To be in Drag! Plz R & R!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine nor is Rock Lee.

Summary: Read the title, get the hint.

AN: This story is a sort of parody with no link to the series whatsoever. Don't be surprised when you see the sand nins or oro-chan.

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Lee's Journey to Find an Identity

Prologue

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Rock Lee was a happy, confident youth of 13. His teammates consisted of Hyuuga Neiji and Tenten who happens to have no surname. His sensei/father/role model is Gai and his animal is the beautiful green beast of Konoha which happens to be a turtle.

The love of his life is Haruno Sakura, age 12. Her teammates consisted of Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke, his rival for her heart. Her sensei is the hip rival of his sensei, Hatate Kakshi.

As it so happens, it was the love of his life, the beautiful lotus of Konoha, that caused this extremely tremendous change in the green-clad youth. It all began in front of the flower shop owned by the Yamanaka's….

He had just finished training with his sensei and was to run around Konoha 5000 times when he saw her, his beautiful, extremely (too) pink, blossom, Sakura, talking to the blonde girl in a pony tail in front of what seemed to be a flower shop. Doing what he always did, he ran up to her to once again ask her out in his newest nice guy pose.

"Sakura! Will…" Before he could even finish, Sakura held up her hand to hush him and smiled grimly at him.

"Lee, Rock Lee. I will tell you one time and one time only. I DO NOT LIKE YOU! It is against my beliefs to go out with someone like you with eyebrows as thick as yours, with clothes as green as yours, with hair like yours!" Lee opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish. Then…

"Sakura…what are you trying to say!" Sakura growled at Lee's reply.

"What I am trying to say is for you to get yourself a LIFE! Gosh! If you were Sasuke, maybe. But get a Life! I will never go out with someone like you!" and with that the pink lotus of Konoha stalked off to look for her sweet Sasuke.

Lee just stood there and then in a flash of light he ran to the library and grabbed a dictionary.

"Life, life, life, looking for life…" And clearly stated in bold words under the word life was:

Life: (lie-f)

the spirit of a person. (nah! Thought Lee, I already got plenty of that!)

the identity of a person. (hmm…don't I already have one?)

And the list goes on. (nope…nah…wow! But no…er..)

Finally he decided to go with the only one that seemed to make sense.

Lee was ecstatic. An identity! That's what he needed! A new identity! But who's?

And so begins Lee's journey to find an identity.

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Ending comments: So how did you guys like it? I sorta changed it but ya wouldn't know the difference,ne! Read and Review, plz! 


	2. ThickBrowed Sasuke!

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine nor is Rock Lee.

Summary: Read the title, get the hint.

AN: This story is a sort of parody with no link to the series whatsoever. Don't be surprised when you see the sand nins or oro-chan.

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Lee's Journey to Find an Identity

Chapter One, Part One: Thick-browed "Sasuke"

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Lee was currently stalking his first victim…urm…identity. It was the one Sakura would definitely go for. Uchiha, Sasuke. Lee applauded his wiseness and smartness and…well, himself. Lee would take notes and copy everything his new identity would do. Lee had already written a few things of what the Uchiha prodigy did, wear, and what he liked. Which was more than expected...

The list is as seen:

Likes: Says "tch" a lot so he must like to do that!

Walk around

What he does all day:

4:00 Wakes up wearing Uchiha insignia boxers

4:01 Does 500 pushups, 600 situps! (He almost saw me!) and takes a rose petal bath with the Uchiha insignia engraved on to the bath at 4:45 wearing just his…oh…(scribble, scribble)

5:00 Drinks jasmine tea in a teacup with the Uchiha insignia wearing a black terry robe with the Uchiha insignia while writing on a scroll 1,000 times: Must kill Itachi…(Should I rethink this…?)

5:12 Saunters upstairs to get dressed.

5:17 Trys on his usual pair of clothing with the usual Uchiha insignia (his closet is filled with all the same clothes! Note: gotta get new wardrobe with Uchiha insignia!)

5:25 Still trying on different clothes with the Uchiha insignia that are all the same.

5:45 Finally nods head at mirror engraved with the Uchiha insignia and smiles a cheeky smile and blows a kiss to the mirror (…)

5:50 Walk around Konoha (mainly near Naruto's place)

5:55 Hides behind a tree as Naruto's lights turn on

6:00 Runs towards the bridge just as Naruto comes out of his apt.

6:05 At the bridge and trying to pose

6:09 SAKURA! No! Must control myself…

6:10 Looks away from Sakura and says "Tch" to her good mornings.

6:30 Looks angry at something but suddenly looks bored and lazy.

6:31 Naruto arrives and Sasuke answers Tch to Naruto's presence

6:35 Peeks at Naruto.

6:38 Peeks at Naruto.

6:40 Peeks at Naruto.

6:41 Peeks at Naruto.

6:45 Argues with Naruto claiming he was not peeking at Naruto

And for the next two hours the times between 6:35 and 6:45 repeats all over again.

8:15 Looks away from his sensei and says, "Tch".

8:17 Starts training with teammates…(I feel as if I am forgetting something…)

It was at this point that Lee was discovered by TenTen and Neiji and was dragged to their usual place.

12:03 Walks around Konoha

12:05 Surrounded by girls and combs back hair slowly and says, "Tch"

12:10 Saved by Naruto and says, "Tch"

12:11 Argues with Naruto

12:17 Fights with Naruto

12:29 Fight ends

12:30 Invite Naruto to a bowl of Miso Ramen

12:35 Peeps at Naruto eating ramen while slowly slurping own ramen

12:36 Peeps again at Naruto eating second bowl of ramen while slowly slurping up first bowl of ramen

12:37 Peeps again at Naruto eating third bowl of ramen while still on first bowl of ramen

12:38….

1:04 Stalking Naruto while Naruto is talking with three little kids.

And that's where Lee was now. It was also right about then that Lee was beginning to doubt whether or not he should go on with his plan to copy the Uchiha prodigy. But all that was dashed when none other that his beautiful pink lotus of Konoha came up behind Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun! What a..!" Lee watched as Sasuke slapped a hand on Sakura's mouth and hid her behind the tree he was hiding to spy on Naruto. Lee trembled in a blaze as he glared holes into the prodigy's hand on his beautiful pink lotus' lips. Those pink beautiful lips. Lee began to daydream of those wonderful buds of life on his as he wore Sasuke's getup.

Now with new ambition, Lee flamed and posed with a fist to the sky. Not caring that he had not gathered all the data, but that his plan will commence on the morrow!

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Lee's POV

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I awoke this morning with new passion. Yesterday the beautiful lady, Merl, helped me chose my clothes that I am wearing on now.

My plan is unbeatable! I have done 500 pushups and 600 sit ups! I have taken a rose petal bath with the Uchiha insignia engraved onto the bath in my birthday suit! I had also drunk jasmine tea in a little teacup with the Uchiha insignia while wearing a black terry robe with the Uchiha insignia and wrote 1,000 times on a scroll with the Uchiha insignia: Must kill Itachi!

I am currently wearing the dark clothes that the Uchiha wears, as well as the Uchiha insigniad boxers, and have discarded my sensei's green body suit and orange weights. I have styled my hair into that of the Uchiha's. I am wearing the same sandals of the Uchiha's. I even stalled the usual time it took me to dress to pick and choose and toss as the Uchiha had done. I even blew a kiss at the mirror with the Uchiha insignia on it's back!

I shall win my pink lotus' heart TODAY!

I was about to pose in Gai-sensei's good guy pose until I remembered that the Uchiha DID NOT pose like that! And soon I was off to be Uchiha, Sasuke!

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Sasuke's POV

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I shuddered this morning at 4:oo as I had yesterday for some unbeknownst reason and it is to my reasoning that I am an Uchiha that I dismissed it. Uchiha's don't shudder. I smoothed out the wrinkles in my Uchiha insigniad boxers as I began my usual exercise.

I did 500 pushups and 600 sit ups to keep my beautiful self in shape. Afterwards, I took a rose petal bath in a bath that had the Uchiha insignia engraved on to it.

Wearing my black terry robe with the Uchiha insignia on the back, I drank jasmine tea in a tea cup with the Uchiha insignia to calm my nerves and wrote down 1,000 times on a scroll with the Uchiha insignia: Must kill Itachi.

Next I saunter upstairs and try on my clothes. Looking in the mirror I see all the mistakes in the clothing texture and lighting of the cloth. I was trying for mature and sensitive today and so after 31 outfits with the Uchiha insignia on their backs or fronts, I finally decided to wear my blue-black, short-sleeve, long-neck, Uchiha inscribed on the front, shirt with my white with that slightly sky blue shadowing arm-warmers and my plain and sensitive white shorts with a tiny Uchiha insignia at the corner of both pockets.

I smirked at myself in my Uchiha inscribed mirror and mentally checked myself out. 'My, aren't we mature and sensitive today, Prince Uchiha!' I blew myself a perky kiss and sauntered out to capture a glance at my little fox darling, Naruto.

But that's when it hit me as I arrived at my usual place in front of Naruto's apt. It was…so ugly!

"No….Noo…nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It couldn't be! I had just seen myself in the mirror! I was beautiful! But that thing in front of me was…was…TT.

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Lee's POV

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I had just arrived to Naruto's apt when I happened to bump into an impersonator! How dare he do as I do and impersonate MMEEEE! That is until I figured, 'hey isn't that the original Sasuke?'

Slowly we circled each other and our black eyes met. Then unexpectedly…

"No….Noo…nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He bolted and ran with tears trailing behind him. I stood there in shock as this did not happen yesterday. I reached down to grab my pen and notebook when all of a sudden…

"Oi! Sasuke-teme!" I was grabbed by the left arm and dragged by a running Naruto. "What are you doing here! Sakura's probably all alone at the bridge you baka! And I thought I was the baka!" So, doing as the Uchiha would've done, all I did was.

"Tch!"

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At the bridge…

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Sakura's POV

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Today will be the day in which my charms and wit and beauty will surely entrap Sasuke who's masculinity is only questioned when….Huh?

I saw a big cloud rising and coming towards the bridge. The cloud was coming faster and closer. I begin to panic!

Inner Sakura: Run!

Sakura: I…can't! Wahhh! My feet are stuck!

Inner Sakura: You wimp!

I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the pain….but wait! What's that…(sniff, sniff) Roses! Roses always stood for Sasuke!

I opened my eyes and saw at the foot of the cloud was Naruto…and "SASUKE-KUU….!" Something was wrong! Very wrong!

I grabbed my head and screamed as a very deformed, a very ugly, a very thick-browed Sasuke came sailing my way with a shiny smile and open arms.

My dream had come true…only to end in a crashing nightmare…

"KKKYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

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Ending Comments: Hee hee hee! POV's are so useful at times…So did you guys like it? If so, Review! And I shall write more.

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	3. Plan Uchiha, SasukeFailure!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: Just read the story.

AN: (Takes a deep breath) Please Read and Review. Thankyou!

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Lee's Journey to Find an Identity

Chapter One, Part Two: Plan Uchiha, Sasuke-Failure

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Sakura stood behind Naruto who stood to the side of Kakashi, who for once was on time.

Sakura stared at…(gulped)…Sasuke, Naruto frowned at…Sasuke…and tried to shoulder off Sakura for once, and Kakashi was staring and studying…Sasuke…

"Sasuke" stood tense as a board and sweated.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at "Sasuke" and felt his own forehead. He shook his head. Then while glaring at "Sasuke", he took his own temperature. He shook his head. Then finally while checking "Sasuke" out, he picked his own boogers through his mask (which should be impossible but somehow Kakashi achieved it). "Sasuke" shuddered and looked away. Kakashi smiled and nodded.

"At first I had my doubts, but this is definitely Sasuke, Sakura-chan." Sakura shook her head with a ferocity.

Sakura: No! That can't be him!

Inner Sakura: But it looks and dresses like him!

Sakura: But it can't be him…?

Inner Sakura:….

Finally, Sakura sighed dejectedly. Naruto beamed a huge smile and laughed.

"True, Kakashi-sensei! You're just as smart as I am! Of course that's Sasuke! Only Sasuke would dress like that!" Kakashi smiled and nodded as "Sasuke" managed a light laugh but quickly covered it up with a "Tch!"

"Well, today is very special as it is a day we will be on a very special mission!" Kakashi said with a huge smile (not that anyone can see it anyways). Naruto and "Sasuke" both were stoked and lunged forward at the sound "special mission".

"UUwwoooo! What kind of special mission is it, Kakashi-sensei?"

"UUwwoooo! Yosh! A mission that I, Ro….er…I mean…" "Sasuke" sweated openly as all three of the people there stared intently at him.

"I mean…" He pocketed his hands and turned his head away and said a simple: "Tch!"

That got them back in their little happy mood.

"Hahaha! You almost got me there, Sasuke-chan! I almost thought you were Lee!" "Sasuke" perked up and was about to ask something when Kakashi spoke up.

"C'mon team, time to do a mission!"

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"KYAHHHH!" Sakura screamed as chickens flew over her head. She watched in slow motion as a single chicken poop fell. In a flash, she was saved as a black flash took the poop for her.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan! I am here now! I will protect you!" "Sasuke" grinned. Sakura shuddered even though those were the words that she ever longed to hear. She growled and putted "Sasuke" into the pig sty.

Apparently, this "special mission" was just a D-rank mission of caring for a farm while the owners went out for the day. Naruto had been livid and Kakashi wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

Naruto laughed at "Sasuke" as he helped him out of the pig sty.

"Oi, Sasuke-chan! I guess Sakura don't like you anymore! No more fan girls, isn't that great?"

"Tch!" "Sasuke" managed as he brushed of the mud. He knew he should be more happy as Sasuke but what was he doing wrong? Then he remembered his question for Naruto.

"Naruto? Do you like Lee?" He asked timidly. He watched as Naruto's face turned a sickly green. He covered his mouth and ran off. "Sasuke" watched as Naruto barfed behind a tree. He was saddened. Of everyone, he was certain that Naruto would like him. Instead, at the notion if he liked Lee, he barfed. "Sasuke" was sad and felt like crying.

"No! I will not cry!" "Sasuke" raised a fist as a fire bursted in his eyes. "I will go on with my dream!"

"So, you got rejected again." "Sasuke" jumped a mile up into the air before coming back down and giving Kakashi a scared look. Could it be that Kakashi knew?

"What do you mean!" Kakashi smiled and patted "Sasuke's" shoulder.

"It's alright! I get rejected by Iruka, often. Everyday infact!" "Sasuke" paused. "To tell the truth, the reason I'm always late is because I have to get my fill of Iruka…." He toned out.

No.

He blacked out. He couldn't listen anymore. From hearing all that he heard it was for certain that he couldn't be here anymore. Sakura and Naruto rejected him as "Sasuke". Rejection was okay, but he couldn't deal with THIS. He began to wonder about his own sensei's sexuality as he fell into the darkness.

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"Sasuke-teme! You're late!" Yelled Naruto. Sasuke smiled at the noise. He was late because today he took EXTRA, EXTRA care in his activities. He was primped and powdered and everything. The fangirls were even extra giddy today. He was in heaven.

The only problem was…He looked over to Sakura. She avoided his eyes. Not that he cared but he had definitely lost a fan. But it was lost to thought as Naruto started a fight with him for ignoring him.

Ah. He was in love.

* * *

Lee was busy. Busy and locking out the wickedness that dared entered his head while he thought up of a new plan. He began to sweat and hunched over as a plan entered his head. He finally had a new vic…er…model. Tomorrow the plan will be in play. But today he had to rest and keep chanting to himself to keep his mind from drifting.

And to keep Kakashi's words away and out of his head.

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Ending comments: I know, I know, this sucks. But hey! You have something to look forward to! A new victim! Er… I mean a new model for Lee to be! Stay in tune! 


	4. That Foxy Smile

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. In fact, I don't own anything, not even this tiny, stretchable…..body of mines…at least not right now….

Summary: Lee! He is still only in the beginning turbines of his journey!

AN: I know, I know, it's been a long time but hey, can you blame me? It's much better to do the reading than the typing, ya know. But ofcourse one of my lovelies has emailed me to plz update soon because I am the bestest of the bestest of all the authors in this crib...yeah, didn't think you'd think so neither. But here's an update. Hope ya like.

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Lee's Journey for an Identity 

Chapter Two, Part One: That Foxy Smile

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Lee had done it. He had finally picked up all the info of his newest vic...er...model. All day yesterday, he had stalk...um...followed his "model". Of course, he got bored stalking...I mean..."following" his newest vict...dope!..."model", yeah...following his newest model and finally retired to his home to get ready to install his plan. But it was much harder than he had originally thought it to be... 

In fact it was horrible...no...It was wicked! But Lee had to do it.

He looked into the mirror. He squeaked. Tears about to spill, he raised a fist into the air and flames were apparent in his eyes.

"No! I am doing this so I can go out with the lovely lotus of Konoha, Sakura-chan!"

Finally he took a deep breath and looked at the object of his demise. A tube of...yellow hair dye. He picked it up and gave himself a good-guy pose, included with the tiny wink and the sparkley teeth and the horrible wiggle of those things: his eyebrows.

Naruto yawned a deep and loud yawn. He had just awoken to the bright, yellow morning...HAIR? The hair changed into...? Naruto gasped and sat up, stumbled back and fell off his bed, hit his head on the alarm table and to make it worse, the table broke and rehit him in the face. With a shaky hand outstretched for a second before falling back down with a thump, Naruto was officially out of the game/chapter.

Lee bounded around the bed. He had been staring out the window and frowning at Sasuke's body. A few minutes ago, Lee had met Sasuke on the street and waved at him. Sasuke spotted him and turned a strange shade of color and swiveled his head back and forth from the apartment to Lee for some time before getting swirly-eyed and falling down face first.

Of course, Lee didn't pick him up. His vict...er...model would never help an Uchiha! So Lee had gone on and entered through the window and turned back to look at Sasuke's twitching body. That's when he heard the yawn of Naruto and a crash.

"OH NOOOOOO!" (Just like Naruto...) Lee, in Naruto drab with blond spiked hair (which took him, like, forever to spike) and thick blond eyebrows, stood over Naruto's buried body. But after awhile, Lee decided that this could work in his favor. Lee (please note people/readers/reviewers/fans/etc, that as Lee goes through each of these people that he changes...really changes) smiled, coupled with the crescent curve of the eyes, which for him wasn't exactly possible so it looked more like squinting on him, and the evil look behind the eyes.

Sakura's POV

Oh what a wonderful day! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Kakashi-sensei is still not here(but somehow I just can't seem to look at him the same way...), Naruto has big eyebrows the size of Texas (Please note that Texas does not exist in the Naruto world! At least not to my small amount of knowledge...), Sasuke-kun is...

Wait! I turned my head back towards at Naruto. Naruto noticed, smiled and waved, and then blew me a kiss, one right after another!

"Eaayyyahhhhh!" I dodged every last one of them and when I was sure they had all passed me, I straightened back up to give Naruto a piece of my mind when...

"Sakura-Chan!" Naruto appeared out of no where to with wide open arms and a sparkley smile.

No...He was coming...

No...he's getting closer...

No...

"Noooooooooooo!"

Lee's POV

After doing my business, you know, going to the bathroom and hiding Naruto's body, I finally reached the bridge where my beautiful pink lotus is waiting for me...Ahhh...Sakura chan...

Wait...What is this...Sakura just looked at me and smiled the sweetest smile in the world and it was only for meeeeee! Maybe I had been wrong in that she had liked Sasuke...on second thought where is he? Don't tell me that he is still in front of my...er...I mean, Naruto's apar...

Ah! Yes! My beautiful Sakura! I waved at her and smiled. Then I saw it, that look in her eyes! Can it be...My plan had worked! She loves me! I blow her my special attack! A dozen pulsing hearts!

Ah! Look! Look! She's trying to catch every one of them with her lips...er...I'll have to teach her to how to catch things with the lips as it seems that she is missing them all...but it matters not! It is the thought that counts! My heart is beating so fast! Can it be? That my unrequited love is finally, at long last, requited?

Ah! Here I come my lovely Lotus of Konohaaaaaa-AH!

Back to regular POV

Sakura slammed her body'sdefense mechanism on full throttle and as "Naruto" ran ever closer, her foot came up ever higher.

"Kyaahhhhhhh!"

"Sakura-Ah!"

Well, let's just say, that one should never put one's foot in one's mouth, or in this case, in anyone's mouth...

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Ending Comments: So how did ya like it? Should I continue? If ya want more then please do so by reviewing and until next time...ja ne! But if I do update, it's probably going to be after winter break..sorry... 


	5. That Broken Foxy Smile

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I would not be here, instead I would be suing people to get rich. Mwahahahaha! But seriously, I do not own Naruto.

Summary: Read the title.

AN: Heh! Sorry but my "winter break" turned out to be longer than usual, ne? Any who…I'm back and if you're wondering who the hell is IS then you don't deserve to know but since I'm so sorry then I'll tell you anyways, it's….Inner Sakura! Well, here's the next insert of :

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Lee's Journey to Find an Identity 

Chapter Two: Part Two: That Broken Foxy Smile

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Sakura slammed her body'sdefense mechanism on full throttle and as "Naruto" ran ever closer, her foot came up ever higher. 

"Kyaahhhhhhh!"

"Sakura-Ah!"

* * *

Lee was surprised to say the least, as he swirled a part of his beautiful lotus flower around in his saliva-filled mouth, that his beautiful Sakura would offer him such a loving gift: a mouthful of her dainty foot. 

Lee beamed to the kami that was watching over him right now as he gently suckled the foot and used his tongue to play and lick her toes peeking out of the sandal that she wore. He looked at Sakura and all he could see was her gentle face blushing and felt her shiver in _PLEASURE _at his tongue techniques and flower petals were swaying in the soft breeze beyond her being. Ah, her hands came to softly…ow…caress my face…Oh how much I love you….

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Sakura's POV

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Oh My God! OMG, OMG, OMG! I shuddered in _EXTREME DISGUST_ as I felt his…ugh! Tongue on my toes! 

**IS: Yeeeckkk! WTH! WTF is F$& is wrong with Naruto!**

Kyahhhh! I could feel my face burning up as my neck begins to ache from standing only on one foot and craning my head away as if I could simply disappear. Where the hell was Kakashi-sensei?

**IS: I'm soooooo gonna kill Kakashi-sensei! He's probably enjoying this in the bushes!**

EEEkkkk! Did Naruto just suckle my…toes…I could feel a slight heat coming off of. A shiver traveled up my spine and left my cheeks tingling. I never felt this before…But since this is Naruto, it must be a newer level of…

**IS:** **ANGER!** **Rwaarrrrrrr! Let's make him** **MINCEMEAT!**

That was the last straw! I used my immense strength that I always use on perverts to push his head off my foot. But I was careful, of course, to avoid those….things on his forehead. WTH were those things? They look pretty familiar…

**IS: Who gives a $H!T! Let's F$&ing gut the bastard!**

…but I dismissed them as I tried to push him off my foot.

All of a sudden arms went around my slim body. Strong, slim arms full of warmth and…

Wait? What is this? I turn beautifully to the side and…

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Sasuke's POV

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I had just awoken in front of my love's apartment. I can't seem to remember why I turned up here but there was the vague memory of… 

A shiver ran through my body as I suddenly felt cold. Why can't I remember! But somehow a part of me seemed…glad?

With the vagueness of my memory I thought that maybe it wasn't important so I decided to quickly go to our usual meeting place seeing that Naru-chan isn't in.

An embarrassed blush slightly traced my face as I wondered if he saw me lying on the ground in front of his home…and then a feeling of déjà vu traced my heart at the thought.

Was it just me or did it just get colder? Dismissing the thought, I thought, if Naru-chan did find me, he would've kicked me awake with his strong, muscled leg….(hearts all over the place). With that in mind, I couldn't wait to get their just to have a little love spat with him.

Once there, my heart leapt out of my chest.

I could only see red! Or maybe that was my sharingan. But who gives a $!t! How dare she? How dare Sakura try to steal my Naru-chan by acting like a $L#T and sticking her disgusting foot in Naru-chan's mouth! Kyahh! She's caressing his face with her tainted hands! How dare she?

I couldn't just stand there any more as I "gracefully" ran, just in case Naru-chan happened to turn around and see me (picture Sasuke running like a girl with a little skip added), and took a hold of Sakura and pulled her away from **MY** Naru-chan

"GET…OFF!"

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Sakura's POV

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"GET…OFF!" Her beloved Sasuke just told Naruto to get off her delicate foot! (hearts all over) He did care! (More hearts) I gently allow myself to meld into his arms as he showered me with his smell and… 

**IS: SCORE! Sasuke-kun is mine! (**lot's of hearts and etc

**

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**

Sasuke's POV

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Ugh! WTH! This **F$King $L#T **is trying to do two of us! How dare she think Naru-chan is so cheap!

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Sakura's POV

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OMG! (Hearts everwhere!) His heart just skipped! (Help! Author is drowning in hearts….!) 

**IS: YOSH! After all these years…FINALLY! Mwahahaha…!

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**

Kakashi's POV

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…Tee hee hee…They're bonding so well without me! (Even more hearts…erk!)

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Lee's POV

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Oh! MMMMM! Sakura! You make me feel soooo…! (The hearts won't stop coming!)

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Sasuke's POV

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Oh no! Naru-chan! Stupid Sakura is trying to choke you! I'll save you! I cried inwardly as I saw MY Naru-chan turning even redder as his eyes began to bug out and turn round…hmm…they look like… 

A shudder racked my body…No…Think happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!

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Sakura's POV

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Oh! He shivered again! I must've rubbed against a ticklish spot! (The hearts just keep coming…TT+TT) 

**IS: Aye yi, ma'am! Putting it in long term memory!

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**

Kakashi's POV

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Awe…Looks about time I come in. But they look so OWARI! (Even more Hearts! XX)

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Lee's POV

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Uhmmm! (…hearts…) Hmm…Is it just me or did the wind change… 

**THUNK!

* * *

**

Sakura's POV

* * *

I can't feel my leg any more…But I sure asH can feel Sasuke-kun's **broad chest**! (…) 

**IS: Hey! Where are the…**

Oh I wanna rub my back against his chest forev…?

**THUNK!**

"Kyaahh!"

* * *

Sasuke's POV

* * *

Now that happy thoughts are back… 

Get off! Get off! Getoffgetoffgetoffget…!

**THUNK!**

"Kyaahhh!"

"Waghh!"

**BAUSH!

* * *

**

Regular POV

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke moaned as they recovered from the base of a large tree. 

Lee, still in Naruto form, moaned as he recovered from a large pulsing egg on his head.

Kakashi, behind the latest volume of Icha Icha Paradise, winced slightly as he rubbed his elbow wondering when Naruto's head became so…thick.

The ex-anbu captain waited until his team all stood up before saying anything. Lee was staring at Sakura with…stars! (Attn to all readers: Sadly, we have run out of hearts at the moment. Please stay in your seats as their will be no hearts for the rest of the chapter. Thank you. From the PKMHWBTC)

Sakura was blushing and looking at Sasuke from the corner of her eye and Sasuke was stealing glances at his "Naru-chan", totally ignoring the obvious.

Kakashi beamed at his sweaty, and sort of smelly crew, and informed them:

"Well, since you guys had so much fun, I decided that I should be having a little fun myself with a certain dolphin swimming in a school of brats so today is a free day! (cough a star appeared at the end of his statement)" With that he puffed out to meet a certain dolphin swimming in a school of brats.

Sasuke just "hmpf" and walked off, needing to wash the smell of a heavily perfuminated Sakura off of him before returning to his object of desire.

Sakura jumped up to grab his arm.

"Sasuke-Kun! (…a curved star made to look like a spike heart appeared)"

But when she neared him, Sasuke glared her down. Then he looked down at her slobbered foot in which held the riches of Naru-chan's sweet little putty mouth. Sasuke's mouth watered and then remembered who it was that foot belonged to.

He looked into her eyes so full of disgust and hatred. There were so many things he wanted to yell at her but all he managed before he'd break down in tears that she had the gift of…he couldn't even think it so all he said was:

"**YOU DISGUST ME…**"

Sakura was in shock as she choked on air. His words repeated over and over and over and over…(you get the picture) in her poor little retarded mind. Suddenly she shook full bodily and then turned to poor little Lee, I mean, Naruto who had, rather indirectly or directly, caused this rip in her relationship with Sasuke and glared at him. And then said it:

"YOU…YOU…I'M GONNA…(CHOKE).." Sakura choked at the sudden flow of emotion in her throat. Tears were threatening to spill. "I HATE YOU!" Then she ran off.

Lee's, er, Naruto's heart broke at those words. His face became listless and lifeless. But all of a sudden, he recovered. His face brightened up.

"Hey! She doesn't hate me, me, she hates…" All of a sudden his face became listless and lifeless again. His heart grew heavy. She hates Naruto…and it's all HIS fault!

All of a sudden, lightning flashed, thunder sounded, and rain came pouring down on the all ready downed boy of Konoha.

What was he going to do?

* * *

In a deep and dark closet… 

Two eyes of blue suddenly opened and the owner suddenly felt a shiver run down his back as if the world was coming to an end…and he was right at the edge of it all.

* * *

Ending Notes: _Hello! I am Sin!_ (Stands on a mound of all sizes hearts) _You probably know me to be girl Naruto from another story TUH is currently still having problems with. I'm just here to deliver the message that TUH seems to have disappeared and we, her beloved characters that she created from old ones, are currently looking for her so if you happen to know where she is then please inform us, in this case, by reviewing. But for now she is to be replaced with TUH bot # 451. Say hi, # 451._

**Hi. My name is 451. **(rolls over a hand that is sticking out of the pile of hearts) **I will be in power…er…I mean in the place of my slave…I mean, my master for this duration. I would just like to say thanks to all those who bothered to even read this far and that you will be rewarded a sneak preview…**

…**of Sin's fine $$…_TUNK_…ow…**

_Y'know, I think I should stay the speaker. Thank you for reading and hopefully you enjoyed this insert of **Lee's Journey to Find an Identity**! And congrats to my master, wherever she is, for her being able to write such a long chapter. Let's all give her a big round of applause, wherever she is..._

_Anyways if you wanted to know just what _PKMHWBTC_ means then review and the Authress will inform you. Thankyou and Bye!_ (holds up a little star from the big pile over the stupid star at the end of her sentence).

_

* * *

_


	6. The Beginning of the End

Disclaimer: TUH does not OWN the beautiful green beast of Konoha, especially the older one, (I don't think anyone would want to) nor does she own me, Naruto.

Summary: Nani? Haven't you been reading? Weeellll, since I'm so nice, this chappie is really just a prologue of the next chappie…Teeheehee.

Naruto Notes: Ohayo! I believe you have noticed that our beloved authoress is not here. That's because she is yet to be found. (But I think it's because no one reviewed). Any, ways, because she is missing, I, Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of Konoha, strongest and mightiest ninja in all the lands, will be responsible for the continuation of this story to my bestest abilities until TUH returns. Which I believe won't be for a looooonng time. Well, enjoy! (Lots of hearts)

* * *

Lee's Journey to Find an Identity

Chapter Three: The Beginning of the End of Lee's Beautiful and Youthful…Innocence.

* * *

Lee sat quietly under the beauteous sakura tree, tears abundant in his sweet goggly eyes. He gently caressed the tree bark as he imagined the tree to be the actual person.

The tree…slightly shuddered in repulse.

Lee wept and thought of what he should do in order to fix Naruto's and Sakura's relationship…but nothing came out of his sad, empty head.

"Lee! My wonderful, youthful student! Let's all run around Konoha 100 times!" Maito Gai gushed out with his usual overdone gushiness of imitation youth and hyperness. When he wasn't greeted with the usual response, Gai turned around to look at his usually very happy and youthful student. He was greeted with a shocking sight.

"Oh no! Lee! What has become of your youth?" Gai wept as he stared at the mound of green hugging a deflowering sakura tree. When he still did not get a response, he turned to his other wonderful, although not quite as youthful (aka hyperactive freakish), students. Ten Ten and Neiji stood and actually looked quite happy now that their usually "youthful" teammate isn't so "youthful".

"It's alright, Gai-sensei! This just goes to show that Lee is MATURING," said Ten Ten.

"Unlike someone else we know…" muttered Neiji. Ten Ten slapped his upper arm, keeping a blooming smile from appearing.

"…" Gai didn't understand where he had gone wrong with these two. But he certainly as hell would not lose Lee to this thing they call…maturing. Now that he thought about it, maturing sounded a lot like…mature. But Gai dismissed the thought and replaced it with renewed strength to lift Lee from the dumps.

"Lee! I understand now, your pain!" Lee's ears perked. "I know that young, youthful love is TOUGH! But you should bear the burden of…unrequited love like ME! HAHAHAHA!" Lee paused in mid exhale and turned to stare at his sensei who was still laughing. What he saw frightened him. His sensei, the one he thought was the best, was actually still single, loud, and…Lee wept even more so as his troubles doubled.

"Some how I doubted that came out right." Said Neiji. Ten Ten just nodded in embarrassment.

"Lee, what is your problem? We can help! Especially since we're your teammates and Gai-sensei…well, he's an expert at unrequited love…" Gai puffed out his chest in pride but popped like a balloon when he fully took in and processed what Ten Ten just said.

"Kyaaah! Sensei!" Yelped Ten Ten as she caught the deflated Gai from flying away in the wind.

"Sensei baka." Was all Neiji said as he helped.

* * *

Lee's POV

* * *

Sensei is just trying to help! I know but…I don't wanna end up like him! All alone and…sensei, Sensei…OFCOURSE!

I KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW!

* * *

Regular POV

* * *

Lee smiled as he stood up. Ten Ten and Neiji had finally managed to inflate Gai again. Then they heard it. The three looked over at the once sad and down Lee. Their hearts froze in fear as they heard his laughing. A sense of disaster striked their hearts and sent chills up and down their backs.

"Nyahwahhahahahahyeahhyeah!" (weird laughter)

* * *

Somewhere dark and tiny…(a closet)

* * *

Naruto sat up and felt another shudder run down his spine. Although he had undone his bindings, he suddenly felt that it was safer to stay where he was.

* * *

Ending Comments: Hmmm….I don't think I did too bad. In fact, I'd say I did better! Nyahahaha! I should be the author, ne? But I won't write anything if ya don't review! Well, I better go help look for TUH # 451. She had said something about lab rats and taking over the world. Bye. Love Not Always, Uzumaki Naruto, Future Hokage!

* * *

PKMHWBTC-This is a specialized corporation that creates hearts for all the animes, mangas, and everything else. So, for those Perfect Kawaii Moments, Hearts Will Be There Corp.

* * *


	7. The Birds, the Bees,…and YAOI!

Disclaimer: TUH does not own Naruto.

Summary: Lee discovers…Lovers of the same sex.

Sin Notes: Hello there, this is Sin from Fatale Sin, I am here to update THIS chapter simply because it has hints of YAOI-ness. So if you don't like YAOI or are against it, just skip this chapter. Thank you and please, R&R.

* * *

Lee's Journey to Find an Identity 

Chapter Four: The Birds, the Bees,…and YAOI!

* * *

Lee gasped for air. He tried to follow Sakura's sensei, Kakashi, but he had failed many times. Finally, Lee stopped in the middle of the road. 

"It's as if he knows I'm here!" Lee growled. "But that can't be! I am the best at stalking people down!"

Lee did a little pose… but stopped when he spotted the silver-haired, ex-anbu, aka his sensei's eternal rival. Lee jumped up and hid behind a tree. Slowly he peeked around the tree to where Kakashi was apparently sneaking around. Lee's eyes narrowed when he spotted Iruka coming around the bend. In his innocent little mind, Lee's wheels were running creakingly round and round. He glowered as he saw Iruka greet Kakashi and they both looked around suspiciously before sitting down on a bench that wasn't there before, not that Lee cared or anything.

Many things came to mind as Lee spied on the two people. They ran along the lines of:

"Those evil doers are planning against my sensei! This is why Kakashi-sensei is always winning! How dare you…!" Yeah…something like that. That was all dashed away when Iruka reached into his bag and…pulled out a bento?

"Huh?" Wondered Lee. The next few minutes of the developing scene caused Lee to bend over, clutch his heart and cry in the youthfulness of it all and then caused him to clutch his head with eyes bugged out and had Lee on his knees at the wrongness of it all. It was wrong because he couldn't, didn't understand.

"Noooo!" Screamed the mind wracked Lee as the scene played itself over and over in his tiny little mind. He pulled on the hair of the sides of his head.

"Arghh!" He rubbed his scalp in pain, tears were evident in his round eyes.

"That seemed like it hurt." Came a masculine voice. Lee slowly turned around to come face-to-face with Iruka.

"I…Iruka-sensei!" Lee's voice squeaked out.

"How long have you been here?" Iruka asked nervously realizing the situation at hand.

"Prob'ly been here all along." Iruka blushed and refused to face Lee or Kakashi who answered for the green clad boy.

"Um…Lee, we need to talk…about…erm…the birds and the bees…" Iruka began. Lee blinked before standing up tall.

"No thanks, Shino gave me a lecture on them already." Lee shuddered as he remembered the very detailed lecture Shino had given him when Lee just happened to ask. Iruka understood as he also had been given the same when Shino was still his student.

"…erm, that's not exactly what I meant, Lee…"

"Just skip all that crap and go straight to the Love, Iru-chan," declared Kakashi.

"Kakashi! Baka! Shut up!" Turning back to Lee, Iruka huffed then began.

* * *

Two Hours and Six Kakashi Bashings Later…

* * *

"…and that is love. Do you understand, Lee?" Lee was googly-eyed and subconsciously nodded. Iruka sighed in relief. 

"That's good, so don't tell anyone about what you saw, okay?" Lee snapped out of it and did his little fire-in-the-eyes routine/pose.

"What are you saying! Love shouldn't be hidden! I shall announce it to the world!" Iruka grew teary-eyed and Kakashi grinned.

"You do that…er…kid. Here's a little gift that goes along with that lecture!" Kakashi winked with a little heart appearing out of nowhere. Then the ex-anbu began to drag the downed dolphin away.

"Hey! Wait! The boy shouldn't tell anyone about us! It's a secret!" But Kakashi just whistled and tossed Iruka over his shoulder. "Lee! Don't tell anyone…Wait a minute!" Iruka finally noticed the "gift" in Lee's hand. "What's that? What did you give that boy? Kakashi!..."

Lee blinked as the fire slowly faded away inside of him. He blinked at the couple who left and then blinked at the gift from the copy-cat ninja. It was a small, pocket-size, orange book with two strange characters on the cover. Lee's eyes widened and he brought the book closer to his face. It was definitely a half-naked woman running from a man!

Flipping a few pages in and reading had been a bad idea. The book was no sealed shut where Lee had been reading by blood.

* * *

Later that day…

* * *

Lee was once again sitting under the beautiful sakura tree that reminded him of his beloved Sakura-chan…but he was not thinking of Sakura. Oh no. In fact, he was beginning to doubt his own sexuality…Lee turned even more miserable. 

Oh how will Sakura take it that Lee could be…gay? Now how did he come to this conclusion? (Well, how should I know, I don't belong in this story, I'm just making it up) Maito Gai wept for his student.

"Oh my Lee! What has happened to your youth? What has happened to our old enlightening days of Hugs and Kisses…(Hmm…I guess this solves it for us, or at least me)?" Cried the infamous Green Beast of Konoha.

Neiji and Ten Ten paused in the midst of their sparring and came closer to eachother.

"What do you think is wrong with him now?" Asked Ten Ten. At that moment, Lee twisted his head to look upon the two. The couple gasped in surprise before becoming irritated as Lee did not respond. A few minutes passed before…

"I always wondered why you ignored women, neiji, but now I undertand… Kakshi-sensei has finally opened my eyes…" Neiji held up a question mark. "I shall stick by your side, my rival, even if you are…GAY!" Lee announced as the words resounded throughout Konoha. Ten Ten gasped, looked at Neiji and took multiple steps away from Neiji. Neiji himself looked like a deer caught in headlights but very slowly he raised a fist and closed his eyes as he shook fiercely.

"I…am…not…GAY!" Neiji yelled as he sent Lee into LEO, low earth orbit. Of course, now the whole of Konoha is talking about the possibilities…of how true it could be that Neiji is indeed…gay.

* * *

Ending comments: Well, how do you like that? Naruto didn't want to do this one cause it had his sensei and yaoi combined. Since I was a girl, I didn't mind. Also, Gai seemed to have disappeared…Oh well. I hoped you enjoyed so now please review and if you want to know what happened during YOU KNOW WHAT, then please review and tell me, Sin, and I will decide whether or not to write a side story for it, and maybe even one for Neiji.

* * *

Omake:

* * *

"I always wondered why you ignored women, Neiji, but now I understand…Kakashi-sensei has opened my eyes…I shall stick by your side, my rival, even if you are…a woman!" 

This time, both Ten Ten and Neiji punted him into LEO.

"Baka!"

Somewhere dark, sweaty, and hot…

"Hmm…" Went a low, husky voice.

"What is it?" Came another.

"I was just wondering if Lee actually read the book I gave him."

"Nani? You gave him a pervertish book!"

"…No…I gave him a cross dressing book where the main character cross dresses as a woman to be near the guy he loved…nothing pervertish…"

"…I think you really are changing…(sniff, sniff)…come here…" And the rest is too rated M for ya.

* * *


	8. Ah! To be in Drag!

Disclaimer: I do not own the beauteous Lee, the gay Sasuke, nor the individualist Naruto….sobs silently

Summary: Lee…trying hard to find an identity…

N/N: I tried to update earlier but the computer wouldn't save right…so blame the computers! Ahem please read, enjoy and give me feedback!

**Lee's Journey to Find an Identity**

**Chapter 5: Ah…**

Lee lay in the hospital room doing nothing but staring at the ceiling. Not because he couldn't find anything else to do, but because this was all he could do. He was temporarily paralyzed neck down; even opening his mouth was painful. His whole body was bandaged up to his chin. Apparently according to Tsunade, quite smugly, his body went into shock after he was beaten up so horribly. If you're wondering how Neiji sending Lee into LEO could result in such awful pain to our wary hero, well lets just say Neiji's gotten very good at aiming and lets also add our hero's fall into the women's public bath house where at that moment had the company of some of the strongest women in Konoha. Oh yeah…and lets add lots of screams (from Lee) and **a lot** of killer intent. So much so that a group of very powerful ninjas decided today was not a good day to try and invade Konoha.

"Ohayo, Fuzzy Eyebrows!" Shouted the world's most loudest ninja of surprise…Uzumaki Naruto. Lee flinched. Suddenly his body and mind was drained of YOUTH and he thought of what his sensei would do. The thought of his sensei weeping...sorta annoyed him. This fact frightened Lee sooo much that Lee didn't even notice Naruto eating his fruit.

"Naruto...What do you...think of me?" Lee suddenly asked. Naruto had a thoughtful look, then he smiled.

"I think you're…hmm…how did he say it…gay…Yeah! That's right! I think you're a very gay person, Lee!" Lee's eyes widened. His fears were answered…He was truly **gay**.

"…and…what do you…think…of…gay people?" Naruto looked confused.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well…do you like gay people?" Lee tried to peek over the corners of his eye as he pretended to look at the window, but failed. He hoped Naruto liked gay people because two of the people, no, make that three since HE, too, is gay, are gay.

"Well, of course! I like you right? In fact, I do declare that I, Uzumaki Naruto, am probably the most gayest person in Konoha! No! Make it the world!" Lee's eyes bulged…

"Na…Naruto…? You, too?" Naruto smiled and finished off his, erm…Lee's apple. Lee had tears gushing out of his eyes.

"Yes! We are gay! Both of us are Gay!"

"Uh-huh, we are! We're super, incredibly gay!"

"…" Lee heard a gasp and then a "thunk!" He turned to see…

"Ah! Sakura! Nani! Oi! Sakura-chan! Baka, Sasuki-teme! What are you doing! Help me get her up!"

"Na…Naruto! I have something to confess, as well!" At this moment Sakura was coming to.

"Nani? What is it?"

"(Ahem) I, too, am gay!" Sasuke declared.

"Ieyahhh!" Sakura once again fainted.

"Eh? No you're not, Sasuke! You're a prick…(blah, blah, blah)" But Lee's ears were closed long ago…All he could think was that…He wasn't alone!

In the following days, Lee recovered well enough and as soon as he stepped out of the hospital, he declared his new found sexuality to all of Konoha atop the Hokage Monument.

"All of Konoha! I have something to say!" Lee ignored the fact that no one was stopping to listen or the fact that they were ignoring him but they sure stopped when he declared: "I am GAY!"

Let's just say Konoha was filled in silence for the rest of the day.

"Lee!" Gai had tears in his eyes.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee yelled back.

"Lee!" Gai cried.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee looked sad.

"…Lee…" Gai covered his face.

"Gai-sensei!" Bonk! Tonk! An angry Ten Ten stood over the two moaning ninjas.

"Quiet already!"

"B..But!"

"No buts, Gai-sensei! You've gotta accept the fact that Lee is gay! And you Lee!..."

"Hai! Lee looked up at her with freaky, sparkly horribly bad imitation of puppy-eyes.

"Why…why are you dressed like that?" Ten Ten yelled pointing at what Lee was wearing.

"Oh! You mean this?" He picked up the edges of his flower-pattern skirt and twirled around. "I also discovered that Gay men like to cross dress so I shall wear a skirt!"

"Oh…is that all…?"

"Hai! Which must be why I must now go and be with…blush…my boyfriend!" Ten Ten anime dropped.

"H...How? When?" Lee smiled.

"It was today…this morning in fact. He asked me out! This must be what love is like!" Lee smiled brightly. So brightly Ten Ten could've sworn she went blind for the day. Lee giggled as he thought of his boyfriend as he skipped off.

"Well, I gotta go meet him now! Ja ne!" He said over his shoulder as he continued on.

Ten Ten sat for a moment before weeping uncontrollably. When had Hell froze over?

A figure stood tall and looked like a sore thumb in the crowd. It spotted it's goal and headed towards it or more like him. In a skirt.

"Lee…" Lee turned and smiled.

"Oh! You're here! Let's ear!" And Lee dragged him off.

Ending comments: OMG! Who's Lee's boyfriend? What is he? Is Naruto really gay? Find out next time in Lee's Journey to find an Identity!


End file.
